Sick......

So now that I am in the 2nd trimester and turning the corner on the all day nausea.....I have a cold with a cough that has caused me to throw up just as much. TMI....I know. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. LOL I am just praying the kids don't catch it. My mom and dad have it and so does my sister. My incredibly cute niece said "I think nana's turkey was sick and got us sick." She is too funny. By the way mom, we all think the turkey was fantastic! Where are my leftovers for turkey a la king?

We celebrated Jac's bday a week before Thanksgicing and Garrison a week after. We took Jac to Chuck E. Cheese and all the kids had a really nice time. Garrison chose to go see Bolt for his birthday. Paul took the kids to a late night showing and I stayed home with Preston. They too had a really great time and Paul has already added it to our must by when it comes out on DVD. He is such a sucker for a Disney flick.

We had some family drama go on over the last few weeks but all has subsided for now. Amen! It was a very stressful time but God also shared some amazing blessings with us too. His timing is always PERFECT!

Where we've been...

It is just crazy how fast the days seem to go by right now. Between school, household chores and a very busy 1 year old our days fill up pretty quick. I wanted to add a few pics today and I realized I have been seriously slacking in the picture taking department. I did find a few to share though but I'll save those for the end. :)

Christmas is less than 2 months away. Can you believe it? We have already started to plan out some gifts for family. Cathy and I are doing family gifts for each other this year. This will help ease the financial aspect on both of us. I am going to work on a digital scraphook for her family. They are a beautiful and fun family so this will be an easy task. :) I might do a book for my mom too. My dad (and myself) are big Tony Stewart fans and he will be changing cars next season. So this will be a great time to grab some cool new Tony gear for my dad. :)

This is his old #20

We are going to miss you #20

Here is the new Old Spice #14

We think it's pretty cool! By the way Cathy, we hope you enjoy all these lovely pics.

Cathy is the only a Jeff Gordon fan. :)

As promised a few pics of our fab 5.

This was taken at the park for our P.E. day :)

Here is one of Preston practicing his left turns. :)

Still here :)

Man, it is HOT here. We have been in the 110's for DAYS AND DAYS. The kids are climbing the walls. My mom and dad stopped by today to drop off a fridge for Paul's office. While they were here I think my mom realized that I needed a little breather from the overly rowdy bunch. So Paul and I left for about 2 hours to run errands and have dinner. It was such an unexpected little treat. I came home feeling refreshed and renewed.
While at Target Paul and I checked out the summer nonpool options. :( Hopefully next summer will bring a large water source of summer delight to our backyard but for this year it will be coming in the form of 6 supersoaker water guns. Why 6? 4 kids+2 childlike parents= tons of fun. So sometime tomorrow we will take the crew outside and hope to have an amazing time in this incredible heat.

I did miscarry 2 weeks ago. I was devistated. I really thought after Carter I wouldn't have to go through something like this again. But I did. I had a really hard time with it. I had some days where I was pretty angry with God. It just didn't make any sense to me at all. Lots of tears were shed. But now our sweet little boy has a sibling by his side now. We have always wanted our kids to be close in age. The girls are 19 months apart and the boys are 16 months apart. We are praying that Preston has a buddy (girl or boy :) ) God even gave that to our little angel boy. What an awesome GOD!

Let's go to the Zoo! There's lots to see and do :)

Sunday morning Paul and I were cleaning up the kitchen mess and I mentioned it would be a great day for the zoo. We had a wonderful cool front blow through and our temps were only in the upper 70's and low 80's. Totally unusual for us this time of year. He immediately said yes which really surprised. On weekends we always try to stick around the house and "get things done". I think he knew I could use some time out of the house as well as the kids.

It was a perfect day. It had been raining the last 2 days but Sunday was sunny and clear. The animals were amazing. So many of them were right next to the fences. I think they were really enjoying the fresh cool air too. We were able to get some really cute pics.

Choices

Every day seems to be filled with choices. From the time I open my eyes in the morning until I tiredly close them at night, the amount of choices made is incredible. There are some choices that seem win win no matter what. Like sitting in the drive thru at Dairy Queen choosing between a Snickers' or M&M blizard. I mean seriously, there are no losers here. :) Other times it seems no matter which way you toss the coin, you're bound to lose.

This week I had to make the choice between having a surgical D&C to remove what was to have been our beloved Christmas baby or I can wait to naturally miscarry. On Friday we went in for our 8 week ultrasound. Our laughing and joking of how many babies would there be this time was quickly silenced by a very blank screen. I could feel my heart get heavy and my words though on the edge of my lips could not be spoken. My heart was crying out "not again, please not again". I knew what I was seeing but also knew I needed to ask to be sure. Oh how I didn't want to have to speak those words in fear of hearing the answer.
"It's not right is it?" I asked.
"No, when did you get your positive pregnancy test?"
"4 weeks ago"
"There is no baby. There is a yolk sac for the baby but that is all. I'm so sorry.:

My doctor started talking about why this happens but my head was spinning. It's like I could feel myself in that very moment when we knew we had lost Carter. A scenario so similar to this but so different. That feeling like you are watching someone else's nightmare unfold right before your eyes. So surreal.

So I was sent off for bloodwork which was to be followed up on Tuesday. Paul had already taken Friday as a vacation day to make a funfilled 4 day weekend. Tuesday seemes to be 48 hours long. Waiting and waiting for the phone call to give us the news we were dreading. Finally the call came and the news was not good. My HCG Friday was 14,XXX and Tuesday was 18,XXX. They should have at least doubled in that amount of time. I was heartbroken and numb.

I told the nurse that while my numbers are not what they should be, with them increasing at all I cannot go through with a D&C. So now I will have repeat bloodwork done next Tuesday and follow up with my dr. then. Where this road will lead, only God knows.

So now I am making the choice to trust. It's not only all I can do it's the best I can do. I can trust in the Lord with ALL of my HEART and lean NOT on my OWN understanding. Proverbs 3:5

I have always loved that verse and have sang it to myself in various situations in my life. Never has that verse been so real to me as it is now. As each day goes by I just pray for strength. Sometimes I let my head run away with thoughts of why. Why even let me get pregnancy if this was going to be the outcome? Why? Why? But, I am chosing to trust. In this life this may never ever make sense to me. I am just so blessed to be a child of God in the stormiest of days.

Blessings

So yesterday Paul and I found out that we will be adding #7 to our family. We are thrilled beyond belief and pretty shocked. This is a baby that was very much hoped and prayed for. Surprisingly with our large bunch, getting pregnant has never been really easy for us. We would love and encourage any and all prayers for a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery. And yes, this is the caboose for the White House Express.
This Christmas is going to be an amazing time for us. Everything just seems "right". It's exciting and exhausting all at once. My God rocks! :)

Ice Cream Sunday

I was at the computer Sunday afternoon while the kids were happily playing in the playroom(aka garage). Paul was outside doing some much needed yardwork. In the background I could faintly hear the song of the ice cream man coming. Paul opened the front door and said "You want to?". I said "You have money?" ...."Yep". ....."OK". He ran to catch the truck while I ran to get the kids. Calm cool and collected I walked into the garage and said "Yea, so I am going to the ice cream man. " I then turned and bolted to the front door. I could hear eight footsteps right on my heels. I swung open the front door and they charged out to meet daddy by the truck. I instantly burst into tears. To think that God has intrusted all of these precious people to Paul and me is incredible. They are all so amazing each in their own incredible way. I love being their mama.

Halfway thru day 1

and all is going well. We just got home from Park Day where we blew around the park for about 30 minutes. We finally decided that the wind won and we would go home and catch a movie. Paul and I just couldn't take the chance of anyone getting any kind of sickness. So we got to spend a few extra minutes just hanging out together before he went back to work. It's crazy how precious time has quicky become. So often we would just waisted time together, me on the computer him watching t.v. Now we just want to savor those moments together. I love the fact that after 12 years I still feel like that 17 year old totally in love when he holds my hand. Ok, back to school and laundry and all those super fun things. Hope you have a great day! Smiles

90 days = a better US!

Over the last 3 years our family has been thru a lot....a lot for us anyway. We had a major financial situation that was incredibly stressful. We seriously contemplated a move to California which was only a state away but would have been life changing for us. We were carried through the loss of our little boy, Carter. We again contemplated a move to a nearby city due to schools. We were led to homeschool our children. Paul's mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers and moved to an assited living facility We then welcomed our newest addition as a preemie by 6 weeks. We have recently spent nearly the last 2 months with a house full of sickies. I'm sure loads of little things were sandwiched in there as well.

So needless to say, Paul and I have not always been on our "A" game over these 3 years. Lots of things in our life have seemed to spin out of control. The house cleaning, our relationship, the discipline of ourselves and our children, school has suffered to a degree as well and Paul's job has been a struggle. We are tired. I know there are people dealing with much worse but this is what has been on our plates.

2 weeks ago Paul was informed from his.....eh hum...boss that he will be returning to the center for 90 days. He has been working from home the past 6 years or so. This was devistating to our family. Paul being the only driver is a huge help to our family during the day. It would have been nice if his boss had had a small amount of compassion...but she didn't....not even in the least.

So we are taking these very sour lemons and making some delicous lemonade! We are creating a campaign around our house for "90 days to a better you, a better me and a better us" Either way we are going to go through these 90 days so why not make the most of them. Each person in our family (with the exception of Preston) has some areas that need improvemt. So that's what we are going to do and in 90 days we will be healthier. happier and a little more holy.

Deal or No Deal Salvation

Ok, so I am not one to get "preachy" on my blog but I really wanted to share something I was thinking about last night. We were watching "Deal or No Deal". It's always interesting to see how people go through the process of deciding how much to wager and how much are you willing to risk at a "chance" of getting the million $$$ case. Howie kept telling the contestant last night "This is going to change your life forever!" I am sure in many cases (no pun intended) it really does. You may walk away wondering what if or you may walk away with more money than you ever dreamed. But, it is all by chance.

Can you imgaine if salvation was the same way? What if it didn't matter how you lived your life. You could live like Mother Theresa or Ozzie Osbourne and at the end it would all come down to chance whether you enter in to Heaven. Can you see St. Peter standing there with all these cases. He would be cheering you on just like Howie. "Come on Heidi, do you want to open up one more case or do you think your case has salvation in it?"

God is amazing. He didn't leave that decision up to chance. He said very simply, no one comes into the kingdom unless through my son. Asking Jesus into your heart is your "case" into Heaven. You don't have to leave anything up to chance. You can ask Jeusu into your heart today and know that when your time on earth is done you will be Heaven bound. Now that IS life changing.