Older than my older brother.....:(

So tomorrow I will embark on my 29th year of life. I have more in my life than I could ever imagined. I have tons and tons to be thankful for. But, this is one birthday that is harder for me than most. Tomorrow I will be older than my older brother. How I wish this was some crazy riddle with a silly answer but it's not. My brother who was 8 years older than me entered into the gates of Heaven at a very young age 28. I have often thought about him this year. Thinking about how I remember at 28.

Tomorrow I will surpass him in earthly age and it is just making me so sad. I really miss him so much. We had our ups and downs like any brother and sister. I dearly miss being Paul's little sister. Of course I will always be his little sister. I just miss having him here as my big brother.

I couldn't and wouldn't wish him back here. He is in a perfect body now and I can't even fathom how he must feel, I can only imagine.

Here is a video in memory of my biggest and bestest brother love your little sis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3LUc78vbDk

A WORM!!!!

So today had been a good day but a long day. I finally sat down to eat around 8:30pm. I had all the kids tucked in so I decided to sit down and watch some tv while I ate. I was sitting on the floor and noticed something by the molding. I asked Paul what it was. After close examination he says "Huh, it's a worm." What, a what. Is what I was thinking but my legs were already outta there. I dashed in to the kitchen totally grossed out. Thank goodness the kids were all sleeping otherwise it would be Heidi the science teacher who just loves worms and all of God's wonderful creations. Instead, it was Heidi from Jr. high who can't stand bugs and hi tailed it out of the room yelling "Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!" Now my sister is like the ultimate bug killer. She lives in a rural area which has stunning mountain views. However, along with those views come some very interesting creatures. I mean not just your run of the mil scorpions and tarantulas but like on Tuesday for instance....she found a bug in the hallway that she described as centipede. I told her that I thought they felt really soft on their backs. She said ummmmm, it actually had pincher's on the back. EKKKKKKKKKKK. I love her so much and she has to be one of the bravest people I know. I told her I would have paid the bug guy $100 to come kill it for me.

Anyway, I guess tonight was a blog much to do about nothing. LOL Hope you are having a great week and please..........watch your step. :)


PS obviously no picture is needed or wanted for this entry.

We found our church on CRAIGSLIST!!!

So a few weeks ago I was at my wits end with the girls' room. There room is probably about 10feetx11feet so fitting two twin beds in is really tight. After 8 years of proudly proclaiming we would never, I mean never buy bunk beds........we gave in. (We were afraid they would get hurt) We just felt they needed a little room to play and spread their wings a little.
We searched and found a really nice set on CL. When Paul called to work out a pickup time he realized we had bought something from these people before. Indeed we had, we bought a really cute cat and dog shower curtain set. (We had flowers in the kids' bath and thought we needed something a little more neutral for the boys now.
When Paul went to pick the beds up it was too tight to fit in the van. So the couple offered the husbands help and truck to bring it to us. How cool was that. Anyway, Paul spent at least 30minutes chatting with the guy on the front porch. When he came in he proudly told me, "I found our new church." This struck me as odd or really it was God. I have been really struggling with some issues of the church we have attended for about 5years. Paul on the other hand has always loved the church so I figured finding a new church wasn't in the cards.
So Paul and I talked for quite awhile that night. We both agreed that the distance and size of our church was a little too much. (easy to get lost in 12,000 people. :0) So we decided to give this new church a try.
Paul and the kids and my mom and dad went last weekend. I stayed home sick with Preston. When he came home he said he enjoyed it and thought it might be the answer for us. My mom and dad, who have been looking for nearly 5 years, seemed to enjoy it too.
I finally got to go today and it was awesome. He preached straight from the BIBLE. He has an expository style of preaching. I loved it. It was really neat having someone explain line by line what is being said.
The kids seem to really enjoy their classes as well. I think this could really be a time of growth for all of us and that is so exciting.
Now I am off to bed after I smother my lip in carmex. It's amazing how I can go through the pain of labor and yet a cracked lip can still hurt so bad.

Happy week!!!

Brownie batter and backyard swings

So yesterday was the first day in a long time I really felt like a "good" mom. We were babysitting a few kids from our homeschool group due to a death in their family which required attending an out of town funeral for the parents. So needless to say with 8 kids running through the hosue, the day was all about the kids.

I was a little overwhelmed at first. I'm the type who quickly offers my help and then moan and groan to God and anyone who listens(sorry Cat) about dreading what I willingly got myself into. I know the bible is pretty clear about being a cheerful giver with money and I am trying to practice this with time too.

Anyway, the day went really well much thanks to my hubby. He is way more laid back than I am and goes with the flow. I am more of the dam that gets in the way of the flow sometimes.

So by mid morning I just chilled out. I thought, all that is going to get done today is taking care of the kids. You know what, that's ok.

Garrison was having melt down after melt down so instead of spanking, time outs and both of us crying......we made brownies. I plopped him on the counter and he and I made a delicous batch of brownies. He was covered in batter and I didn't even care. He was happy and so was I.

The rest of the day rolled really well. We spent some time mowing the yard. Then all the kiddos took turns swinging on the backyard swing with me. It was really nice just enjoying each other. I went to bed feeling like I had really spent my time doing the most important things. Obviously there are chores to keep up with but a day like this was just really nice. :0)

Today, I feel a little behind with school. I always manage to get the 3 R's done but sometimes neglect the fun parts of science and geography. It all comes down to planning and I am really going to work on that this weekend.

All in all it's been a nice week.

We did have one very sad event this week. My sister's sweet dog passed away. Raisin was an incredible and loyal pet. I kept telling Cathy how sorry I was and how we will all miss her so much. I cried with her on the phone telling her I wish there was something I could say to make things better. I hate when my sister cries. It's not often, but I hate it. So please keep her and her family in your prayers. I do believe dogs go to Heaven and I am sure she is already getting some good snuggling in from my big

brother.

Doesn't even compare

This morning I was feeling overwhelmed with some money issues. i was really wrestling with the frustration of having mroe month than money.Staring your morning off with 2 calls about payments being due prompted this struggle. It's not medical bills or car repairs that have caused us these problmes but just irresponsible overspending. This is something Paul and I have struggled with for the better part of our marriage. We have made huge striedes but still have muh work to do.
So I was feeling quite sorry for myself for the place we are at financially and so I went surfing for awhile. Quickly I found the blog a fellow MFW user/blogger who had just lost her precious baby boy during her 20th week of pregnancy. (For those who don't know, we lost our little boy Carter during the 23rd week of pregnancy in Feb '06) So her blog touched a nerve and I began reading her previous posts. Then I cm accross a post with the Casting Crowns song "Praise you in this storm". Thsi has been what Paul and I call our "Carter Song" since shortly after we lost him. The words are incredible and completely describe how I felt/feel.
After watching the video and of course shedding more tears, I realized how I was really missing the mark this morning. Sure, money is tight and it is frustrating but GOD is BIGGER! Hasn't he proved that to me? He scooped me up and carried me in His arms when we lost Carter, will he not walk with us through this as well? This struggle does not even compare to ANY we have already faced. Yes, Paul and I have made mistakes to cause this but God is still here. He will provide in ways we NEED and I know that. He showed me that yesterday when a neighbor showed up at our door with 5 stunningly beautiful dresses for the girls to wear this winter. Amazing how in 24 hours I could let myself doubt Him.
I am beyonf blessed to call myself a child of God, his child.

Here is the video if you would like to watch it. :0)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr7i5L6kFT0